


Learning to Breathe

by Marasa



Series: Dream Eater [9]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Aromatherapy, Board Games, Cat, Cuddling, Fluff, Game Night, Hair Dye, Hurt/Comfort, Kitten, M/M, Marijuana, Massages, Massaging, Recreational Drug Use, Role Playing, Scent Kink, Smoking, Soft Boys, Spooning, Stress, Supernatural Elements, Yoga, bad television, monopoly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 20:46:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12638841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marasa/pseuds/Marasa
Summary: Important decisions happen at the breakfast table.





	Learning to Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I really like this one. This might be my favorite so far. It's just really fun and cute. Some of this actually got a chuckle out of me. Hopefully you like it too. Enjoy :)

Important decisions happen at the breakfast table.

Who’s gonna go on which job, how much weed to pack into each baggie for a nearby party, whether to order hot wings or Chinese for dinner on Friday night.

They make decisions like whether or not to use an ashtray when they smoke, and the answer seems to be mostly no as there are black circles burned wood all over the surface. They make decisions of what to buy when they go to the store- three different brands of cereal, four cases of Redbull, two types of condoms.

They make some decisions that are harder than others, like how many stitches to tie into Josh’s skin, what kind of home remedy to use to get blood out of the wood grain of the table.

They’ve made the important decision to sit here all together and waste the night away drinking beer, smoking joints and pushing around metal pieces across a board cluttered with plastic.

They’ve made the decision to roleplay as nobility of imaginary kingdoms as they play Monopoly together, they've all decided to adopt the title of ‘sir’ and they've, of course, decided that there is no other way to play than to spend big every turn and never play it safe.

Important decisions happen at this table.

Important decisions such as whether or not Tyler will sell this hotel.

His eyes scan across the top of the board where his property stretches from red spaces to orange to blue. Tyler’s suddenly a king, a natural at this game for whatever reason. He and Josh came up with a name for their ever expanding kingdom slowly covering the board but there’s so much marijuana smoke in the air that he’s forgotten it.

“Joshua,” Tyler says, “what are your thoughts?”

One of the orange properties is on the chopping block. He doesn’t necessarily need to sell it but it would certainly help them recover from the five-hundred dollar loss from when they landed on Hayley’s purple property last turn.

“My thoughts? Oh of course, Mr. Money Bags, sir, I have thoughts,” Josh says, trying to keep his laughter down.

He sits to Tyler’s side, semi-behind him, close for reference as he spends the entire game as Tyler’s financial advisor. Well, a financial advisor that does very little advising.

A blunt burns in between his fingers and giggles keep spilling from his lips the shorter it gets. He spends more time laughing than he does helping Tyler but that’s more than fine. The spirit enjoys his laugh more than he does winning.

Tyler ends up smiling too, leans in his direction without taking his eyes from the loaded Monopoly board.

“I’d like to hope you have thoughts, Joshua,” Tyler says, “but what thoughts do you have about our current predicament?”

Sir Josh hums dramatically.

“It would be a considerable drop in potential profit in the long run if we were to sell the orange square property,” Josh says, trying to be serious as he clears his throat, “but it would certainly help us at the current moment.”

“Joshua,” Tyler sighs, turning to him, “duh.”

Josh giggles again. He can't stop smiling. He’s been smiling a lot more lately.

He looks so beautiful behind wisps of smoke, smiling, laughing. Tyler kind of wants to hug him right now.

But Sir Tyler has business to address.

“I'm concerned that if we sold it, Sir Mark may purchase it,” Tyler says quietly.

“But he's barely alive!” Josh whisper-shouts.

“But his luck is incredible.”

It really is.

They're pretty sure Mark has only had three bills in his hand the entirety of this game. Every turn, they're sure he’ll go down but then he's passing go, collecting $200 and still somehow staying alive.

He doesn't even own any property. How the hell is he still playing?

Mark’s all sweaty, clutching brightly colored cash in his hands tight enough to wrinkle it. He can't keep going on like this.

“He can't keep going on like this,” Tyler voices.

Josh shakes his head as they stare down Mark.

“What're you going to do, sir?” Josh says.

He has no idea.

Jordan and Hayley look to be up to something.

Jordan joins his brother in the career of a financial advisor to millionaires with a competitive streak and far too much money to spend. His client is doing much better than they are as she sits in front of hefty stacks of cash of every color of the rainbow.

She even has a Monopoly credit card in front of her. That's not even included in this version of the game.

He whispers closely into her ear with his hand hiding his mouth and his eyes trained on Tyler and Josh.

They narrow their eyes at them.

Jordan and Hayley narrow their eyes back.

Mark shifts nervously as he counts his three bills again.

Michael, as the banker, sits bored in front of a tray of fake money.

“Perhaps that would help me make a most educated decision,” Tyler says with a nod to the smoldering blunt, a stupid smile playing on his face.

“Perhaps not, sir,” Josh giggles.

Sir Josh is right. The ‘devil’s spinach,’ as they have been calling it all night to keep in line with their fancy characters, will only interfere with their decision making at such a crucial point in the game. They’ll be all giggles and cuddling and whispered jokes and not serious business.

The pretend millionaires of a kingdom they've just made up forty-five minutes ago laugh together.

This is fun. This good. This is what they need.

They need relaxing nights like tonight.

Ever since Halloween, they had promised to each other that they would try to find ways to deal with the stress and anxiety that had begun to interfere with their lives.

It's a team effort to try and find what would help them most. They had tried many and had seldom success.

They dye Josh’s hair. It helps.

Josh walked him through it, mixing powders and creams in little bowls like he was hosting a shitty cooking show held in front of the mirror in the bathroom.

“This smells strong,” Tyler said as he held a small bowl of bleach in his gloved hands, nose scrunched up. “You sure it won't hurt you? Or make your hair fall out?”

“Just a little,” Josh said as he took a seat on the closed toilet lid and looked up at him.

“Just a little what?”

“It'll only hurt a little and only a little of my hair will fall out.”

“Joshua!”

“It’ll be fine, Tyler,” he laughed. “It's time for a change, anyway.”

He explained it as getting rid of the old to bring in the much needed ‘new.’ His current blood-red locks had once brought to mind strawberries and sunsets and warm fire, but now it just reflected violence and carnage and trauma.

He needed something cleansing, calming, something that would bring him to relax every time he caught his reflection anywhere.

Tyler suggested blue.

He painted the fluffy bleach all over Josh’s head while Josh squirted blue dye into another bowl. The plastic was stained red and yellow and green and purple and all sorts of other colors that have once stained Josh’s hair. It would soon stain blue.

The dye was dark in the bowl but Josh assured him it would be lighter.

“Soft,” Josh said. “It'll be a soft blue.”

“Like early morning,” Tyler said.

“Frost,” Josh said.

“Bubblegum.”

Josh smiled. “Exactly.”

The bleach sat in his hair for about ten minutes before he stuck his head under the spout of the bathtub.

After five minutes of trying to dry his hair, Josh pulled the damp towel from his head to reveal a head of bleach blonde strands. He looked up at the gaping spirit with a smirk.

“I know, I know,” he laughed, “weird, right?”

Tyler stared. “N-Never seen you blonde.”

“I don't wanna be blonde, though.” Josh grabbed the bowl of dye from the counter and a fresh brush and held it out to Tyler. “I wanna be blue.”

“I'm a bad painter,” Tyler said but took the tools from him anyway.

“You're an amazing painter,” Josh said even though all he had seen him paint was a pumpkin. He sat on the closed toilet lid and waited patiently. “I trust you.”

Tyler shook his head, not really believing in his ability, but he found his doubt dissipating as soon as he began using the large brush to paint the dye onto Josh’s blonde hair.

He was almost in a trance.

Josh looked up at him as he dyed his hair. He hadn't put on deodorant that day and from where he stood above him, Tyler could smell his tangy body odor.

It somehow made him feel closer to him than he had ever been till then, something intimate and real in mundanity, from the physical closeness down to the unedited smell of the other.

“Can I wash the dye out of your hair?” Tyler asked.

Tyler sat on the lip of the tub as Josh knelt with his head hung under the spitting spout, bare hands massaging the slick dye out.

Josh’s hair turned out like art.

Josh looked lighter. He still wasn't completely okay again but he looked better, healthier.

He was recovering.

The frequent bad days, though, remind them they must keep working to find coping mechanisms and distractions to rejuvenate their minds and bodies.

They try yoga. It sucks.

Josh bought the DVD from a thrift store- ‘ _The Busy Mom’s Guide to Yoga_.’ It’s at least twenty years old, shot on cheap film stock and featuring big hairdos.

They stood in the living room, coffee table moved against the wall to make space for them. The thrift store didn't have yoga mats so they have to make do with folded up bath towels.

“ _Hey moms_!” Rebecca, the main mom and instructor of this living room yoga class, said. “ _Let's get ready to relaaaax_.”

Rebecca lead them in their exercise, equating yoga moves to things they didn't understand.

 _“This move is a lot like potty training your youngest, alright_?” she laughed. “ _It's gonna take tiiime and paaatience_.”

They looked at each other, confused.

They tried their best to keep up but the fact that they were not mothers or members of the PTA or people with as much flexibility as Rebecca made it harder.

Plus, they were just kinda lazy.

“What the fuck?” Josh huffed from his shaky downward dog position. “Is she talking way too much about how she hates the other moms in her neighborhood or is it just me?”

Tyler laughed loudly. He fell onto his knees and elbows and then onto his stomach, simply lying there as he continued to laugh.

“She is, right?” Josh chuckled, breaking his downward dog position to sit down and breathe comfortably again.

“Yeah,” Tyler laughed heartily.

Josh laughed too.

They ended sitting on the couch and watching Rebecca exercise as they formulate a whole life for her.

“I'm sure she goes to, like, Colorado with her family every year to ski,” Josh said.

Rebecca began to talk once more about how her neighbors couldn't compete with her Christmas decorations and how while hers were breathtaking, theirs were just, ‘cute.’

“She says it like it's a bad thing,” Tyler said.

“You know all those other moms hate her,” Josh laughed. “She's so on it. She coaches soccer, and has a photography studio in her two story house, and does yoga videos. She's doing it all and those other moms are jealous.”

They laughed through the hold thing, holding hands and leaning against each other. They decided yoga sucked but bad DVDs didn't, so they stocked up on shit television and laughed and laughed and laughed all night.

They try aromatherapy. It actually rocks.

Following the suggestions given by online sources, Josh designated his bedroom as a space of relaxation.

He dimmed the lights, lit incense and even a few candles. It was already relaxing and then had come the bottled scents in a small cardboard box on the table beside them, ordered online from a holistic shop.

There were all sorts of scents to choose from. Flowery and earthy, ones that smelt like rain and others that smelt like sunshine.

They were good, but they weren't enough alone.

“I don't know if this is gonna do it,” Josh said as he held an open bottle under his nose. Tyler watched him for a second before reaching out and taking the bottle from him.

“U-um…” Tyler shifted on his feet, gripping the glass tight. The very tips of his fingers of his other hand barely hooked under the bottom hem of the other’s shirt.

“Hm?” Josh said.

Tyler tugged a little at the fabric and swallowed his nervousness. It was embarrassing, sure, but there was a chance it could actually help Josh.

“T-Take off your shirt,” Tyler whispered. “Wanna try something.”

It was dim in the room but Josh seemed to blush at that. Yeah, he went shirtless around the house sometimes but the spirit had never asked him to. It seemed to take them both by surprise but it was safe here.

Josh cleared his throat but nodded. “O-Okay. Yeah.”

His gripped the bottom hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head. He threw it on the floor away from them and looked back at Tyler who couldn't help but stare.

Josh’s body was fit. Muscles, abs, a deep v-line. His nipples were hard, maybe from the sudden loss of protection and warmth that shirt provided, maybe from the attention.

Tyler tried not to gape.

He deserved to be worship, praised. Josh’s body deserved to be caressed and soothed, accepted when he looked so nervously vulnerable. He could see a flash on insecurity in his body language by the way he barely turned away, barely hunching his shoulders.

The thought of Josh somehow being insecure about his body made Tyler’s heart ache. He wanted to whisper against Josh’s skin that he was perfect.

Josh was staring back at him. He looked patient but also restless, like he might run a mile and scream as he did it, just to get all that shit out of his head.

“Sit on the bed,” Tyler whispered.

He held the lavender oil Josh had been breathing in earlier between his palms. The glass grew warmer in his hands as Josh sat in the middle of the bed, cross-legged and looking up at him.

“Turn your back to me,” Tyler said. Josh furrowed his brow at that, not sure if he liked that suggestion but Tyler was already crawling on the bed toward him, oil still clasped in his right hand and soothing voice cooing to him. “It's okay. Trust me.”

And Josh did.

He turned so his back was to the spirit. Tyler took a brief moment to admire his toned flesh but noticed how tight his shoulders looked, raised just a little and incredibly tense.

“I'm right here,” Tyler whispered. “I'm gonna get right behind you, okay? I'm not going to hurt you.”

Josh shifted but didn't look behind him. “D-Didn't think you were.”

His shoulders remained tense, maybe even a little more so. It had been a long day and Tyler wanted to make it better.

Tyler uncapped the bottle and drizzled the warm oil over his bare shoulders.

Josh exhaled a desperate breath.

“Okay?” Tyler whispered.

Josh made a shaky noise of affirmation, maybe sounding close to tears.

“I'm gonna touch your back,” Tyler said. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, Tyler.”

It was almost an exercise in exposure. Josh had been so jumpy lately at every little noise. It wasn't just the pain then noise caused because of the migraines- it was fear. Josh turned toward every noise that sounded like he expected it to hurt him.

Tyler knew that Josh was telling the truth that he never expected Tyler to hurt him but that didn't change the fact he was nervous for anyone to be coming up behind him, best friend or not.

It was paranoia, a fear of the unknown, of danger, of someone out to cause him harm like those men with the guns at that job had been.

“No one’s going to hurt you,” Tyler whispered. “You're safe here, Joshua.”

The line of oil had begun to drip down his shoulder blades but Tyler caught it when he finally pressed his palms gently against Josh’s back.

He moved against tight muscle, stroking, soothing. He rubbed the oil across his skin, the scent of lavenders blossoming around them.

“ _Tyler_ ,” Josh breathed airily.

“You're safe,” Tyler repeated.

Josh sighed blissfully.

His muscles relaxed incredibly quick as Tyler massaged him. His slouching position got even more dramatic, arms limp in his lap and no words communicated.

Tyler was worried for a moment at Josh’s silence. Maybe he had overstepped his bounds, made him uncomfortable, pushed him too hard.

The spirit nervously leaned up and over his shoulder to look at him. His heart swelled at the sight.

Josh’s eyes were closed peacefully. His lips were parted only a few millimeters to allow deep breaths to pass through them. His face was relaxed and at peace enough for the spirit to know he was mostly asleep.

Tyler wiped the oil on his hands off onto the sheets and came around to the side of him, a soft hand stroking his blue hair.

“Joshua,” Tyler whispered, a hand on his cheek gently guiding him to look up. “Josh.”

The blue-haired man blinked open his eyes but was much too exhausted to keep them open. “Hm?”

He swayed, leaned into the direction of Tyler’s voice as his eyes shut again.

“Lay down,” Tyler whispered. “Before you fall asleep again. It’s more comfortable.”

Josh shifted forward with an sleepy hum, sitting up on his knees just to slide forward and onto his stomach. His head was on a pillow, face turned to the side as he almost immediately fell asleep again.

Tyler smiled down at him for a second before turning off the lamp and blowing out the candles until the room was completely dark. Then he crawled in beside him under the covers and watched as Josh’s face grew even more relaxed in the darkness.

Josh grunted lowly. Tyler stroked his hair. “You're safe, you're always safe here.”

Josh was mostly asleep, Tyler knew, but he was awake just enough to reach for Tyler's hand before he began to snore softly.

Josh held his hand the entire night and didn't wake up with a nightmare once.

It was good for Josh, this new discovery of attentive touch and aromatic stillness, almost like a meditation. It was a release for him.

But Tyler needed the release too.

On those days of particular sensitivity when the spirit felt moments away from a breakdown, Josh would take the bottles of oil from his shaking hands and gently guide him to the bed.

“B-But, you-”

“I don't need it right now,” Josh assured the first night since their new routine that Tyler had been this worked up. “You need it.”

It had been a bad day. The spirit had been pulling at his hair and scratching at his arms, not even really noticing he was doing it until Josh was taking his hands and holding them in his own.

They had tried to watch some TV but Tyler spent most of the time with his eyes scrunched up and the heels of his hands pressing into his sore eyes, shaking minutely as intermittent ripples of intense anxiety wrecked him.

But he needed to be okay. For Josh.

That's why he had put on a very forced smile when they got to his room. He guessed it hadn't worked as Josh was suddenly the one soothing.

Tyler tried to wait him out but Josh wasn't budging. The spirit ended up shedding his shirt in exasperation, anxiety not allowing him to enjoy it.

“J-Josh, you need it to sleep. You've been stressed too, let me do it, I'm fine, I- I-”

His voice had cracked, his eyes had welled up with tired tears. His body was so sore, so tense, so uncomfortable after a day of worrying. He was exhausted but felt guilty for feeling so shitty. This was for Josh, not for him. He was being selfish. He was weak, weak-

“Tyler.” Josh’s thumb wiped away the few pitiful tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. Tyler only shook his head.

“You need it, Josh…” Tyler’s lips trembled. “I'm fine.”

“You don't look fine,” Josh whispered. “Talk to me, Tyler. What's going on? I’m listening.”

And that made Tyler want to cry. Josh’s consideration, his compassion. The spirit sucked in a shaky breath and let it flow.

“I'm selfish for needing this,” Tyler said. “I'm weak and an inconvenience. I'm robbing you of your relaxation time because I'm weak and anxious all the time. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for ruining this for you, Josh.”

The hurt was clear on the other’s face.

“Tyler, that's not true. None of that is true,” Josh said. “You're not selfish or an inconvenience. You're not ruining anything.”

Tyler still didn't look at him.

Josh sighed. “Tyler, tell me exactly what you're feeling.”

“Guilty. Exhausted. Broken.”

He refused to look up at the soft whimper that sounded across from him as Josh sat down on the bed too.

“Tyler, can I hug you?”

Usually Josh would just go for it but Tyler was hunched in on himself, looking as though if someone touched him, he'd fall apart.

Tyler nodded without looking up. He melted as soon as strong arms wrapped around his shoulders and held him.

“Baby,” Josh whispered into his ear, hands rubbing up and down his bare spine, coming up to stroke the back of his neck and head. Tyler leaned into him.

“Tyler, you have no reason to feel guilty. You're not broken either. We talked about this- it was traumatic for you too. You're allowed to be upset. It's not weak, it's just part of recovering and working through this is the strongest thing you can do.”

Tyler sniffled against him. Josh pulled back and removed his own shirt, using it to dab at Tyler’s tears and his runny nose.

“Let me take care of you tonight,” Josh whispered to him. “You don't have to worry about anything else. Just relax. Deep breaths- you're okay.”

He picked oil that smelt of the forest after a rain, heady and earthy and calming- Tyler’s favorite. He sprinkled it over his forearms first, knowing that Tyler’s arms had the tendency to ache.

Josh’s hands were large but he was so gentle as his thumbs pushed into the sore flesh of his arm and rubbed relaxing circles into it.

“Mm-mm-” Tyler squeezed his eyes shut, involuntary noises arising from him as Josh soothed his screaming muscles.

He didn't know if it was because he was a spirit that this was affecting him so much, but all of it seemed to be coming together. The incense, the dimness, Josh’s touch on his forearms- Tyler was in heaven.

“Too much?” Josh asked. His fingers lightened their touch. Tyler whined at the loss of pressure.

“N-No, it’s-’s-”

“Tyler,” Josh whispered to him. “Breathe. Tell me what you need.”

The pain in his body was noticeable as soon as Josh asked and he was too relaxed to act like he was fine and that he didn't need anything.

“My shoulder, it hurts, I-I-”

“Shh, I have you.”

Fingers drifted up his arm to his shoulder. He pressed gently at first against the tight muscles at the top of his shoulder and then a little harder.

Tyler gasped.

“Are you okay?” Josh asked.

He nodded vehemently with eyes half-lidded in bliss, lips parted, soft breaths escaping him. “Y-Yeah, yeah. Keep- yeah.”

Josh stared as if he had just seen an eclipse or a shooting star or something cosmically beautiful. He forced himself to recover, looking back at his shoulder as he massaged it.

“If you ever want to stop, tell me,” Josh said, touch just a little gentler. “We’ll stop as soon as you say.”

There was little chance he was going to tell him to stop when it felt this good.

It was like he was playing an instrument. Josh had his left hand at the top of Tyler’s shoulder, his right holding his bicep. He would push at certain spots at the top and then gently shift his shoulder, rotating it, pushing it back, guiding it down.

Tyler tried not to whimper but failed most of the time.

“Are you sure you're okay?”

“Completely.”

When Tyler was relaxed and threatening to fall asleep, Josh gently ran his fingers all the way down his arm, squeezed his hand and let his hands sit in his own lap.

Tyler barely opened his eyes to look at him, still blissed and relaxed. Josh was looking at him like he was an angel, like he was something beautiful.

Josh leaned in and pressed the bridge of his nose against Tyler’s temple.

They sat there, leaning against each other with eyes closed and the smell of rainy forest floor rising off of Tyler’s warm skin.

“You're so so amazing,” Josh whispered low and close enough that goosebumps erupted across Tyler’s skin. “You're the strongest being I know in all this world and the little I know of the others. You could never be weak in my eyes. You’re my strength, Tyler, even when you're not trying to be. You're not broken. You're fucking perfect.”

Tyler leaned further against him, a few tears falling down his cheeks.

“Lay down,” Josh said as he wiped away Tyler’s tears. “You need sleep. You'll feel better in the morning, I promise.”

Tyler laid down on his side, feeling warm and relaxed. When he didn't feel anyone lay down beside him, he turned his head, hand sliding behind him in search of Josh.

“‘m right here,” the blue-haired man said, finishing up blowing out the candles and then laying down behind him.

Bold, Tyler touched the other’s burning chest in a sleepy attempt to pull him closer. Josh smiled warmly, understanding his silent request. He scooted closer until they were less than a centimeter apart.

They spooned, bare skin of chest and back pressed against each other. The contact was new and so relaxing.

Josh’s arm was wrapped around Tyler's waist, strong hand coming to lay flat on his stomach. Tyler shivered. This is what is was to forget all about his worries and simply feel, replace doubt and anxiety and fear with touch. He felt safe, protected, cared for.

“Is this okay, Tyler?” Josh whispered against him.

Tyler laid his hand over Josh’s and held it where it was against his bare stomach. “More than okay.”

Tyler fell asleep to the feeling of Josh humming quietly into his hair and a thumb stroking over his belly button gently.

They both slept through the night.

Whatever they tried, they would always be there for each other and that's all that mattered. They'd get through it together.

Josh is looking at him, warm smile on his face as Tyler looks back. They need to make a decision now- they don't want to wait anymore.

“Sir?” Josh says.

Maybe it's the smoke surrounding them or maybe it's just the way Josh looks pretty under the light above them but all Tyler wants to do is sit alone with him and hug him.

“Sir Josh,” Sir Tyler says without breaking eye contact, “I have decided what I will do. Will you follow me?”

Josh’s eyes flash with seriousness that exceeds the game. “Always.”

They share a smile.

Tyler stands from the table and looks down at them.

“I, Sir Tyler, am resigning from this game.”

There's a collective gasp.

“And, uh, Sir Josh will be joining me, too,” Tyler adds. He looks behind him. Josh smiles and gives him a thumbs up.

“Sir Michael?” Tyler says. Michael hums boredly. “I bequeath Sir Mark my entire estate.”

“Really?!” Mark beams.

“It's all yours, sir.” Tyler hands all his titles and cash over the table to him. Mark takes it happily.

They all know it will most likely be gone by the time they get back but whatever.

Tyler smiles and takes Josh’s hand as he turns and walks out of the kitchen, away from the kingdom they had made together.

“Where’re we going?” Josh giggles as Tyler leads him to the front door.

“Wanted to get some fresh air.”

“Kinda stuffy in there, huh?” Josh says.

“Kinda?”

Josh laughs. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

It's quiet outside, the air much colder than it was a few hours earlier. The leaves have begun to change color and fall off the trees. The air burns his nose every time he takes a deep breath.

Tyler loves it.

Josh takes out his pack of cigarettes and lighter from his back pocket as they go to stand in front of the garage door.

“Goddamn, it got cold,” Josh says as he lights his cigarette.

“Y-Yeah.”

He looks over at Tyler, jacketless, short sleeve t-shirt on and his arms wrapped around himself. He shivers, goosebumps erupting over his skin.

“Here, baby,” Josh says from around his cigarette and begins to take off his own jacket.

Tyler shakes his head. “Th-That's okay-”

“Dude, you're shivering hardcore right now. It's fine.”

Josh finishes shrugging off his jacket. He drapes it like a blanket over Tyler’s shoulders. The spirit immediately snuggles into the denim material.

“Warm?” Josh laughs.

Tyler smiles and nods, pulls it tighter around him. “Thank you.”

Josh looks at him with soft adoration. The spirit wears Josh’s clothes a lot, even though they've bought him his own. Tyler finds them more comfortable.

Big shirts and baggy sweatpants that smell like him- they're comfy and he likes the flushed look Josh gets when he spots him in his oversized clothes, much like right now.

“What?” Tyler says with a teasing smirk. He's feeling more confident lately and tonight is a good night, one of the better nights they've been having. He's feeling good.

Josh smiles and shrugs, biting the inside of his cheek a little like he wants to say something.

“What?” Tyler prompts. Josh shakes his head and giggles so that his tongue peeks out between his teeth.

“Tell me, Josh.”

“Nah, it’s nothing.”

“C'mooon.”

Josh laughs, bites his lip.

“You're such a dork, Joshua.” Tyler rolls his eyes. “Really, what are you laughing at?”

Josh’s laughter quiets. His smile slowly leaves his face. He blinks carefully. He's avoiding eye contact in favor of looking at the moon that falls over the both of them. His Adam's apple bobs.

Tyler takes a step closer to him.

“What's wrong?” Tyler says.

Josh shakes his head.

“Please talk to me,” Tyler whispers.

Josh looks to be battling internally. He squeezes his eyes shut for a second as he tries to hype himself up. When he opens them back up, he leans back on the garage door, sighs.

They make eye contact.

“Just think you look really beautiful tonight,” he says quietly.

Tyler immediately gets shy again.

He bites his lip and looks down at his shoes as he kicks his feet against the driveway. His cheeks are blazing.

“Do you...really mean that?” Tyler looks up at him, searching for any kind of tease or joke. There's only sincerity in Josh’s eyes.

Josh swallows. “So much.”

There's a beat of silence between them. It's not completely uncomfortable. It's like they're waiting for something. The conversation isn't done. There's anticipation in the air.  
Josh drops his cigarette and grinds it out with the bottom of his shoe. He stands from the garage door.

“Tyler,” Josh says, sounding nervous.

Tyler waits patiently for him to continue.

Josh clears his throat, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, doesn't make eye contact.

“U-Um...uh,” he furrows his brow as if he's deep in thought, scratches the back of his neck. “Would you ever like to, uh...hang out with me? Like. Wait- I know we hang out already but I mean outside of the house, like going out to eat or wherever you wanted to go. Just the two of us though, um, I mean, hanging out, yeah, but-”

Josh stops, takes a deep breath. He gives a short glance to Tyler. He looks back down to the ground.

“Never mind,” Josh says, not really sounding like he wants to forget about it.

There's silence between them that is silently urging. Tyler is waiting for him to finish. Josh looks like he just needs time to breathe and calm himself a little before voicing what's on his mind.

Tyler’s right; it takes about thirty seconds for Josh to straighten up and speak again.

“What I was trying to say is that I was just wondering if you would like to...” Josh clears his throat, looks to the side, “would like to, um...go on...a date...with me?”

Tyler blinks.

As soon as those words are said, his heart is racing inside his chest. His stomach does little flips that are so addictive, he wants to chase that feeling forever. He feels giddy, light, dizzy with the bashful heat spreading under his skin.

He wants to say something but his breath gets stuck in his throat. There's so much going on his mind, all of it like the brightest fireworks to ever exist exploding right behind his skull, behind his ribcage too.

Tyler opens his mouth to answer.

“ _Meow_.”

They both turn to the direction of the car.

“ _Meow_.”

They look back at each other in confusion.

“ _Meow_!”

“Fuck, I’m so high, dude,” Josh mutters.

“I hear it too, Josh,” Tyler says with a quick eye roll.

Together, they follow the sound of tiny meows that sound very pissed off to where they originate.

They stop beside the front wheel of the car parked in the driveway.

“Why is the wheel meowing?” Tyler says. Nothing's obviously out of place, no animal in sight.

Josh waves him to follow as he squats down beside the tire. Tyler squats down beside him and actually gasps.

On the very top of the wheel, hidden under the cusp of metal of the car body, a furry little face and two green eyes stare back at them.

A very chilly wind blows and tiny white teeth like needles flash when the black kitten meows again, shivering.

“He’s cold, Josh,” Tyler says, a hand on Josh’s shoulder tapping him hurriedly as a signal for him to do something.

Josh reaches into the space above the wheel and grabs the baby animal. The kitten gives a hiss that sounds adorable as opposed to frightening.

“Hey, be nice. We’re gonna make sure you're all warm, just be nice,” Josh speaks to the animal.

The kitten hisses again.

“He's kind of a mean guy, huh?” Tyler says. Josh smiles.

Josh finally manages to pull him out, hand wrapped around its body to hold it up. It's completely black and so small, much too small to be alone without a mother anywhere in sight.

As Josh holds it up, it’s paws hang in front of it like Frankenstein’s monster, its legs kicking. It meows again angrily and Josh gives it a quick look.

“Girl,” Josh smiles. She hisses. “A mean little girl.”

He places the cat in his arms and pets down her back as they stand back up. Her little claws prick Josh’s skin through his shirt as she looks mad at being moved from her safe spot on top of the wheel.

“Ow, ow, stop,” Josh hisses himself, pulling her paws from his shirt. Her paws are so small that Josh can pinch the whole thing in between his index finger and thumb.

“Good thing she's cute,” Tyler says, “because her attitude is very ugly.”

Josh laughs at that. The little brat looks up at the sound and Josh looks back down at her. They stare each other down. Josh narrows his eyes playfully and she meows, upset.

“Don't pick on her,” Tyler chides, hands moving to sooth the little demon. “She’s just a baby, Joshua.”

Tyler reaches out to pet her but she swings a clawed paw at him fast enough for her arm to be a blur. She's fast.

Tyler jumps back like the tiny beast will actually hurt him, hands tucked against his chest and eyes full of disappointment and worry.

“I-I don't think she likes me,” Tyler says, biting his lip.

“I don't think she likes anything right now, Tyler,” Josh says.

“Animals act strangely around spirits, though,” Tyler says. “They can sense us. They don't usually like us.”

“So that isn't a myth?” Josh says as he looks up at him. “The whole, dogs barking at ghosts and stuff?”

“No,” Tyler says. “A lot of us are afraid of dogs, actually, just because they look so set on attacking us all the time.”

“Are you afraid of dogs?” Josh says.

Tyler shrugs. “I'm more of a cat person.”

The cat finally seems to calm down enough after that, going mostly quiet as Josh holds her. She must be getting warm seeing as Josh is a walking space heater. She’s plastered against him, blinking dumbly and making tiny meows as Josh pets her.

Tyler watches them wishfully. He's a cat person but this adorable cat doesn't seem to be a ‘Tyler person.’ She seems to like Josh though so the spirit will just have to deal with it.

The disappointment is clear on his face.

“Here,” Josh says suddenly, “hold her.”

He takes the cat from his chest and holds it out to him.

“B-But she doesn't like me.”

“Sure she does.” Josh pushes the kitten out at him like a plush animal. Tyler leans back from her as if she were a black panther instead of a little kitten.

“Josh!”

Josh pushes her forward a little, bottom half swinging back and forth with every little ‘ _here, here_ ’ motion Josh does. She looks content though, enjoying the playful motion.

Tyler is wary but can't help but smile at her cute little face. There's a brief pause and then he reaches his hands out and takes her from Josh’s hand. He brings her to his chest, wrapping his arms under her and rocking her a little.

She meows against him, whiny and bratty but actually calms as she looks up at him. She looks to be interested in the shade of his eyes, completely curious.

She reaches a paw up in the direction of his face, not swatting but just wanting to touch. Tyler giggles.

“See?” Josh whispers. “She's already so in love with you.”

Tyler looks up at him. Josh stares back, soft. It causes the spirit’s stomach to flutter.

“Think Michael will let us keep her?” Tyler asks.

Josh makes a drawn out ‘shoo’ sound as he exhales a deep breath through his teeth. “That's gonna be a tough one.”

They look down at the black kitten. She’s leaning back in Tyler’s arms, looking around all around her. Tyler shifts her so she's on her back, holding her like an infant. Josh laughs.

“She has such a small nose, Josh,” Tyler says, a smile tugging at his lips.

He boops it. She swats at him playfully.

“We can't leave her out here,” Tyler says. It getting colder but she's warm here against him, half hidden in Josh’s jacket.

The black cat rubs her cheek against him with the first purrs they've heard from her all night.

They walk back in together, preparing themselves as best they can for Michael’s inherent freak out.

Sure enough, when they walk back into the kitchen where the game is still in progress, Michael’s attention breaks from the bank so he can look at them curiously before shifting his gaze to the tuft of black fur in Tyler’s arms.

“Nuh-uh, no,” Michael says as he stands from the table, finger pointing to the back door. “Get that rat out of here. Outside. Now.”

“But she's not a rat,” Josh says with a smirk.

The rest of the members of the house stand and look at what Tyler’s holding. It must be a most welcome distraction as Mark looks to again have nothing more than three bills and no properties.

Tyler thinks there's no way someone is that bad at Monopoly.

When they spot that it's a kitten that Tyler's holding, they aww almost in sync.

“Where'd you find it?” Jordan says. He follows the rest of them over to the pair as they forget about the game in favor of cooing over the kitten.

“On top of the car wheel,” Josh says. “She was trying to stay warm.”

“It's too cold for her out there,” Tyler says. “I thought we could keep her.”

They all look at Michael.

“No,” Michael says.

“But-”

“I said no.”

Tyler bites his lip.

The kitten begins to meow pitifully as if she can sense the conversation and Tyler answers by continuing to rock her like an infant in his arms, bopping up and down on his feet to soothe the little animal. The kitten looks up at him, completely interested as she purrs quietly.

Michael’s eyes go a little softer at that.

“Ask him again,” Josh whispers into his ear. “I think you got ‘im.”

Tyler bites his lip cautiously but smiles.

“Michael, can we please keep her? You wouldn't have to take care of her. We could do it all.”

They all look at Tyler. He and Josh stare hopefully at him. Even the kitten follows her dads’ gazes to the man standing with his arms crossed.

He tries to stay strict but he can't with three adorably pathetic faces staring at him.

“Fine,” Michael sighs. “But she is you and Josh’s full responsibility.”

Tyler smiles.

“Oh my gosh, we have a cat now!” Mark says. He hurries over to them to look down at her.

“What's her name, anyway?”

He leans in and the kitten whips its head in his direction so fast that her face goes blurry.

Tyler smiles. “Blurry.”

“Blurry?”

“She's fast,” Tyler explains shyly.

“A real badass, too,” Josh adds. “Blurry- sounds like a boxer’s name or something. I really like it.”

They share a smile.

“We don't have anything for baby Blurry!” Mark says. “Poor baby! She shouldn't have to go without! We’ll buy her everything her little heart desires.”

“ _The necessities_ ,” Michael stresses.

“And many things that are not necessities,” Mark says.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“ _Mark_.”

“Please?”

Hayley pets Blurry with her fingertip, stroking her whiskers, under her chin. Blurry purrs louder like she senses just how sweet Hayley is.

“We probably need to feed her,” she says. “She's pretty small.”

“She's probably the runt of the litter,” Jordan says.

"Unwanted by her mom," Hayley says.

"Shut up, you're making me sad," Mark says.

“Are we seriously about to go to Walmart at eleven-thirty at night for a cat?” Michael says.

“Ooh! Yes!” Mark says. “That sounds like a fuckin’ blast, dude! I'm getting my shoes on!”

Michael sighs as Mark rushes past him. “I guess we’re going.” He gestures to the rest of them to get ready. They're left alone in the kitchen.

Tyler places Blurry on the table. She tottles curiously around the table top, looking around quickly at every little bit of stimuli around her.

Important decisions are made here.

Like the decision to sell Monopoly properties.

Like the decision to keep Blurry.

Like the decision for Tyler to address Josh’s earlier-posed question.

Josh has been a little quieter since they came in. He looks a little nervous, maybe more awkward than anything, like he's cringing internally over something he did.

He rubs his neck, glances at Tyler to see the spirit looking right at him. Brown eyes look away hurriedly.

“Joshua,” Tyler says.

Josh tries to sound nonchalant but it comes out nervous. “Hm, yeah? What's up?”

Tyler reaches for his hand. Their fingers intertwine immediately. Josh sighs, defeated.

“Tyler, I'm sorry,” Josh rambles, “I'm sorry if I ruined anything. I’ll admit, I'm kinda high right now and I don't have a filter and I was talking without thinking and I thought you were really beautiful and then I just came out and said it without even thinking, _fuck_ -”

“Josh-”

“It was stupid just to come out and say it like that. It put you on the spot and made you uncomfortable and I wasn't trying to make you feel weird, I was just being really fucking dumb by just saying what was on my mind like that-”

“Josh-”

“I really hope this doesn't ruin our friendship even though I understand how it completely should. Let's just try to forget about this, okay? I swear, I'll try to forget about these feelings if it's a problem, I mean, of course it’s a problem ‘cause I made you feel weird and you don't even feel that way about me- _fuck_ , I'm stupid and really high-”

Tyler places a hand on Josh’s cheek and turns his head so they're facing each other completely.

“ _Joshua_.”

Josh goes quiet.

“You didn't ruin anything, you didn't make me feel uncomfortable, you aren't stupid,” Tyler says. “And you don't know how I feel about you, so don't assume the worst.”

Josh’s eyes widen a little at the revelation.

A blush dusts Tyler’s cheeks as he looks up.

“Joshua,” Tyler says, “I would very much like to go on a date with you.”

Josh looks shocked, relieved, nervous, ecstatic all at once.

Josh smiles. “Yeah?”

Tyler’s heart flutters. “Yeah.”

They share a smile, one of relief and genuine happiness. Tyler leans against him, head on his collarbone and Josh's other hand that isn't holding his stroking the back of his neck.

They're here for each other, always have been, always will be. This night was unexpected but Tyler’s glad it happened. Sure, they’ve recently been trying to plan their relaxing nights to a T, trying to remain predictable for the sake of lessened anxiety, but life isn't planned out.

There are kittens hidden under cars and surges of emotion that have beautiful punks speaking before they know what they're saying- together, they realize that all the unpredictable moments, the possibilities of something unexpected and incredibly amazing happening, that makes life exciting.

Blurry meows. They both laugh.

“We ready to go?” Mark says as he bounces back into the room. Tyler pulls back from Josh, taking his hand back but not before giving it a squeeze.

The rest of the house follows after Mark, coats and shoes on. Jordan hands Josh another one of his coats after spotting Josh's denim one hanging huge off Tyler.

“Are we gonna leave her here?” Hayley says, gesturing to Blurry who marches across the Monopoly board, knocking over hotels and pieces along her way.

“She’s gonna fuck something up if we leave her here alone,” Jordan says.

Michael whips his head toward him at that. “No, she will not be fucking up anything. We'll just have to take her so she doesn't."

“How?” Tyler says.

“Just hide her in your jacket.”

Josh helps him button up his jacket a certain way so as Tyler holds the squirmy kitten to his chest inside his jacket, her little face pokes out from the the opening of his jacket.

“Oh my gosh, she's so cute,” Hayley says.

It's already eleven forty-five when they pile into the car, squeezed in all together. They'll get there by midnight but is there really any better time to go to Walmart for a cat shopping spree?

The car is full of excited chatter, Mark saying how he almost won Monopoly and the rest of them arguing loudly with him as they say that is complete bullshit.

Tyler and Josh stay quiet as they lean their foreheads together. Their sides are pressed against each other and their eyes are closed. It's as if they're alone.

Soft breathing rises from Tyler’s jacket as Blurry sleeps between them.

“Beautiful,” Josh murmurs privately between them, like it's their secret. Tyler smiles, keeping his eyes closed as he brings his hand up to rest on Josh’s cheek, thumb stroking his skin. Each other’s presence is relaxation enough.

They breathe deeply and focus on the presence of the other and that feeling of deep warmth rolling over the both of them from inside their chests.

They smile, giggle together.

They'll be fine.


End file.
